It’s easy to see why so many guys are confused and clueless about what women really look for in a man. Women sometimes voice a desire for one type of man but then actually choose the opposite type for their mate.

Why is this? The answer is that when women communicate their ideal man, they are expressing a well thought out opinion. This opinion is formulated in the thinking part of the brain. It draws on their past experiences and balances out a lot of pro’s and con’s. It’s logical and makes a lot of sense.

But the mechanism of attraction isn’t based on logic. It’s based on “chemistry”, on how a man makes a woman feel. Men are guilty of this too when it comes to the type of women that arouse us. These subconscious motivators are very powerful.

A woman may say that she wants a guy that listens to what she has to say. But then she chooses a man that dominates the conversation. Or maybe she wants a guy with a good sense of humor, but dates a man with big muscles or a man with lots of money.

While being a good listener is a great skill for keeping a relationship healthy, you can’t have a relationship until you’ve succeeded in attracting her interest in you as a sexual entity.

As you know, the reason for the attraction between men and women is to propagate our species. Getting pregnant may be the last thing on her mind when she sizes up a man. But the attraction that she feels is a subconscious search for a good father for her children. Back when we were all hunter/gatherers, a good father was a someone who could provide for his mate and his children. This was a man who had the strength and confidence to bring home the bacon, not someone who listened to his mate.

Women need men who are good providers, men who can ensure stability for her babies. For this reason a financially secure man has a better chance of landing a woman than an unemployed man.

A woman also needs to perceive that a man will be generous with his resources. A man that’s skillful at the hunt but refuses to share the food with his family makes for a poor mate. That’s why the giving of gifts has always been a part of the courtship ritual. A generous man is a good provider. This could very well be the origin the engagement ring tradition. It demonstrates that a man has the resources and the willingness to share it with his mate and her children.

So before you can have a relationship, you must succeed in attracting her first. In those first minutes of meeting a new woman, you’ll need to display that you’re a confident, healthy, strong, powerful male. This is what women really want in a man. This triggers that initial animal attraction that evolution has wired into her.

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