Continued from part 1.

Second Stage – Zeroing in on some commonality through testing, exploration, trial and error, and keen observation. In other words, you’ll be fishing around for something in common. When she’s talking, pay close attention and listen very carefully to what she says and how she says it.

Listen, watch, and note the body language. You’re looking for a common topic that you’ll both find interesting. If her emotion picks up or she talks a great deal about something, then you’ll know that she has an interest or is passionate about the topic.
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The gift of gab is not a gift. It’s a skill. Like other skills such as playing the guitar or driving a car, it can be learned. A big reason why many guys find dating and meeting women difficult is the whole conversation thing.

What do you say exactly? How do you start it in a way that seems relaxed and natural? How do you keep it going? And most important, how do you connect with this beautiful girl you’ve just met?

Knowing how to converse with anyone whether male or female is indispensable today. It’s usefulness isn’t limited to meeting women.

There’s things like job interviews, enjoying yourself at social gatherings, making friends, fitting in at work, getting new clients, etc., etc. The list is endless.
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It’s easy to see why so many guys are confused and clueless about what women really look for in a man. Women sometimes voice a desire for one type of man but then actually choose the opposite type for their mate.

Why is this? The answer is that when women communicate their ideal man, they are expressing a well thought out opinion. This opinion is formulated in the thinking part of the brain. It draws on their past experiences and balances out a lot of pro’s and con’s. It’s logical and makes a lot of sense.
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Here’s nine useful things to give you the edge in your quest for love.

1.) The power of a smile. A smile shows that you are relaxed and confident. It also relaxes others and is definitely an ice breaker. Add some cockiness to your smile and you’re projecting an alpha male image. A complete turn-on for women.

2.) Dressing well. How you dress can have a dramatic effect on your physical attractiveness. If this is true with respect to female attractiveness (and we’ve all done a double take when the plain Jane at work shows up at a social occasion in a stunning dress), it’s true for male attractiveness. New, stylish clothing that fits well is a must. Another important item: your shoes. This seems to be important to women, so be sure that your shoes are stylish, polished, and clean.
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In the mating game, men are expected to approach the girl. Given that a lot of women are already in relationships, how are we to know who to approach? The answer is that we should approach anyone that we have an interest in and be social.

If you’ve been practicing your social skills and have made it a habit of talking to new people, then there’s no reason why you can’t approach a girl just to be social. But how can you tell if a girl likes you? The answer is that when you’re talking to her you should be looking for signs of sexual interest in her body language.

If her body language tells you nothing, then your interaction with her remains strictly social. If her body is giving you clear signals that she’s sexually interested, you’ve got a green light to swing into action. Some women use body language deliberately, others aren’t even aware that their bodies are giving away their feelings of attraction.
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Continued from part 1.

External changes involve your degree of physical attractiveness. The clothes you wear have a strong effect on the impression that you make on other people. This is especially true with the impression that you make with a woman.

Another part of physical attractiveness is conveying the impression of being healthy and fit. Depending on your particular situation, this may involve a diet or a workout program. But other elements including your clothes, your posture, and how you move across a room also factor into this.

Now I haven’t mentioned ‘good looks’ or being very handsome for two reasons. First, it isn’t something that you can change (short of plastic surgery). Second, being attractive to women has more to do with “maleness” or being a man. So having a pretty face can help but it’s not needed.

As you well know, men are instinctually attracted to women who are masters of the art of projecting “femaleness”. Their sexiness is more than body proportions alone. It’s their clothing, how they walk, their behavior. It’s curves and softness. All of this adds up to femaleness and the more “female” they are, the more irresistible they are to men.
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If you’re having trouble meeting women, is it possible to land girlfriends without having to make any changes to what you’re doing now? The short answer is probably not. Our lives pretty much continue going the way it always has unless we make a focused effort to change it. So it all starts with personal change. Depending on the individual, some will have to make more changes than others.

These changes will be internal and external. Some of the internal ones will have to do with overcoming fear. Fear of trying out new things. Fear of going out more often to unfamiliar places. And of coarse, the big one: the fear of rejection.

Fear is your greatest enemy because it subverts your efforts at improving your life. It’s only use is in keeping you away from life threatening situations or in preventing to you from actions that cause the loss of your income or the other assets that you have. Rejection by a woman will cause none of these things. No one has ever been maimed or killed by rejection. You won’t even lose your job or home.

Any pain that you feel is caused by you. There’s no need to feel humiliation or to feel like a failure. Small kids learn how to ski more quickly than many adults do. This is because they aren’t burdened by humiliation whenever they fall down. They just pick themselves up and keep going. They’re also having a hell of a good time. There’s no reason why you can’t think of meeting new women as an exciting new adventure.
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As I mentioned in a previous post, being an introvert isn’t a bad thing. As a matter of fact, it is a strength because it makes you unique.

Being different in a positive way is what makes you stand out in a crowd. It means you’re not average, you don’t blend in. The day you can stand out in a confident way where you make no bones about the person you truly are, is the day you’ve gained power over your life.

Trying to covert yourself into an extrovert is either impossible or extremely difficult. Why put so much effort into becoming a second rate extrovert when it’s so much easier to just play up your strengths as an introvert?

There are many women out there who are attracted to thinking people who have depth, that is, introverts.

But in order to get your strengths to work for you, you absolutely must get over your shyness. Whether it’s a general social shyness or just a shyness around women, shyness severely limits what you can get out of life. As I’ve stated previously, introversion and shyness are too different things.
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The first kiss can be an big stumbling block for a lot of men. If you’re on a date, it’s expected. On the other hand the lady that you’re dating has never been kissed by you before.

How will she react? Will she pull away? Maybe she’ll think that you’re coming on too strong and you’ll scare her away. These and other similar thoughts are very common.

Some guys will opt for not dealing with the issue at all and won’t make any attempt. Others will ask for permission. Both are mistakes for two reasons:
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In in a previous post, I discussed how the wrong body language will kill your efforts at attracting girls. When you’ve mastered your body language, there is something else that can also defeat you: what your face is telling her.

The human face has a core set of five muscles that are used to convey the basic emotional states of happiness, anger, fear, surprise, sadness and disgust.

But there are up to 19 additional muscles that assist in conveying other emotions. Evolution has wired our brains to show our emotional states through these facial muscles.

Our facial expressions truly are a window into our soul. Unless you’re a trained actor, it’s very hard to cover up your feelings of the moment.

Most people are fairly good at reading facial expressions. However, women excel at this. If you’re out meeting women and you aren’t enjoying yourself, then you should save yourself the trouble and do something else.
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