Continued from part 1.

External changes involve your degree of physical attractiveness. The clothes you wear have a strong effect on the impression that you make on other people. This is especially true with the impression that you make with a woman.

Another part of physical attractiveness is conveying the impression of being healthy and fit. Depending on your particular situation, this may involve a diet or a workout program. But other elements including your clothes, your posture, and how you move across a room also factor into this.

Now I haven’t mentioned ‘good looks’ or being very handsome for two reasons. First, it isn’t something that you can change (short of plastic surgery). Second, being attractive to women has more to do with “maleness” or being a man. So having a pretty face can help but it’s not needed.

As you well know, men are instinctually attracted to women who are masters of the art of projecting “femaleness”. Their sexiness is more than body proportions alone. It’s their clothing, how they walk, their behavior. It’s curves and softness. All of this adds up to femaleness and the more “female” they are, the more irresistible they are to men.
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If you’re having trouble meeting women, is it possible to land girlfriends without having to make any changes to what you’re doing now? The short answer is probably not. Our lives pretty much continue going the way it always has unless we make a focused effort to change it. So it all starts with personal change. Depending on the individual, some will have to make more changes than others.

These changes will be internal and external. Some of the internal ones will have to do with overcoming fear. Fear of trying out new things. Fear of going out more often to unfamiliar places. And of coarse, the big one: the fear of rejection.

Fear is your greatest enemy because it subverts your efforts at improving your life. It’s only use is in keeping you away from life threatening situations or in preventing to you from actions that cause the loss of your income or the other assets that you have. Rejection by a woman will cause none of these things. No one has ever been maimed or killed by rejection. You won’t even lose your job or home.

Any pain that you feel is caused by you. There’s no need to feel humiliation or to feel like a failure. Small kids learn how to ski more quickly than many adults do. This is because they aren’t burdened by humiliation whenever they fall down. They just pick themselves up and keep going. They’re also having a hell of a good time. There’s no reason why you can’t think of meeting new women as an exciting new adventure.
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The first kiss can be an big stumbling block for a lot of men. If you’re on a date, it’s expected. On the other hand the lady that you’re dating has never been kissed by you before.

How will she react? Will she pull away? Maybe she’ll think that you’re coming on too strong and you’ll scare her away. These and other similar thoughts are very common.

Some guys will opt for not dealing with the issue at all and won’t make any attempt. Others will ask for permission. Both are mistakes for two reasons:
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Using advice is like taking medicine, take the wrong pill for what’s ailing you and you may find yourself worse off than before.

What I’m referring to is all of the relationship advice that’s available today. Trying to make sense of it all can make your head spin. If you’re trying to use this information for meeting and attracting women, you may be doing yourself more harm than good. Just because an article is about relating to women, it doesn’t mean that it will be useful to you.

You need to distinguish between advice for people who are already in a relationship and advice for attracting women. The two are completely different and they don’t mix very well.

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In in a previous post, I discussed how the wrong body language will kill your efforts at attracting girls. When you’ve mastered your body language, there is something else that can also defeat you: what your face is telling her.

The human face has a core set of five muscles that are used to convey the basic emotional states of happiness, anger, fear, surprise, sadness and disgust.

But there are up to 19 additional muscles that assist in conveying other emotions. Evolution has wired our brains to show our emotional states through these facial muscles.

Our facial expressions truly are a window into our soul. Unless you’re a trained actor, it’s very hard to cover up your feelings of the moment.

Most people are fairly good at reading facial expressions. However, women excel at this. If you’re out meeting women and you aren’t enjoying yourself, then you should save yourself the trouble and do something else.
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If you’re constantly telling yourself that you need to learn how to talk to girls, you’re approaching the problem the hard way. In fact, viewing it as a problem that has to be overcome will turn it into internal battle with yourself.

The harder you try to start a conversation with a girl, the more tense and nervous you’ll get. You might get the words out ok but the girl will immediately pick up on your nervousness and if she’s a stranger, it probably won’t turn out well.

A better way is not to take it seriously at all but instead look at it as being an exciting and fun game. Rather than telling yourself that you just got to figure out how to talk with girls, tell yourself that you’re going to learn how to be a really great flirt. See the difference? The second way is more empowering. It’s ambitious. Ambition is good.
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A lot of people are shy about meeting new people. Add to this the normal discomfort that people feel on their first dates and it’s easy to see why keeping the conversation flowing on your first date can be a real challenge. Here’s a few pointers to help with this:

1.) Focus and remember. At the beginning when she’s talking about some general things about herself such as her interests, likes, dislikes, etc, you need to focus on and remember anything said that was unusual or that she had strong feelings about.

Also remember anything that you are genuinely curious about. These bits of information will give you topics that you can ask her to expound upon. You can say “How do you feel about that?” or “what’s the story behind that?”
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When you’re on a first date, it’s easy to get all caught up in demonstrating, what a fine, strapping male you are. Don’t forget that you’re also evaluating her worthiness as well.

One important thing that you must know about your date is compatibility. If your interest is establishing a long term relationship, then there has to be something that the two of you are on the same page about.

A previous post discussed how to keep conversation flowing on a first date by being focused on and remembering interesting and unusual things that she happens to say.
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Believe it or not, you don’t have to have the good looks of a movie star to get women. Women are turned on more by masculine traits and personality rather than just looks alone. But this doesn’t mean you that you can let your appearance go. Maybe I am stating the obvious here, but there are guys out there who are clueless about looking after their personal appearance. I happen to know a few.

Here are a few suggestions that will improve you appearance:
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For some, the idea of getting more skilled at socializing with strangers, approaching, attracting and dating women can be a scary prospect. It only seems that way because you’re imagining yourself doing all of those things right now. Remember that you will overcome shyness gradually by taking many small steps along the way.

Imagine the first day at a new job that you have little previous experience for. If you were expected to assume your full responsibilities right away without training, it would be a disaster.

But with time you find yourself easily mastering the responsibilities of your job. You might even think back at how unnecessary it was to be nervous during your first few days.

This is true with mastering any new skill. Socializing and dating are nothing more than skill sets and can be learned like any other. You only need the will to go ahead and just do it.

More suggestions to help you:
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